If Only
by ipreferwestside
Summary: Her finger is hovering over the send button, and she debates the last part; does it sound too forward? Like she's asking him out? Because she's not. She doesn't see him like that, thank you very much. An AU ending to 2x05, When the Bough Breaks. COMPLETE.


_A/N: AU end to 2x05, "When the Bough Breaks." I took some liberties with the details from the episode but as it's an AU I decided not to sweat it. Cover pic from homeofthenutty-dot-com.  
_

* * *

 **IF ONLY  
**

 _She just needs a better writer._

Kate lies in bed for hours, her words from earlier replaying in an endless loop. She hates how they left their conversation. Their argument. Hates that they'd snapped, exploiting each other's weaknesses: his ego, and her pride in her work. It was petty and childish, and she needs to apologize.

She reaches for her phone, but pulls her hand back when she sees the time. It's the middle of the night; he's probably passed out with a one-night stand in his bed. Kate argues with herself for a few minutes, then rolls her eyes and grabs her phone again. She'll just send him a text.

 _We need to talk. Buy you coffee?_

Her finger is hovering over the send button, and she debates the last part; does it sound too forward? Like she's asking him out? Because she's not. She doesn't see him like that, thank you very much. She's about to change it when her phone buzzes, a split-second before his face pops up on her screen.

He's calling her. At 3:37 in the morning.

 _I should ignore it…_

"Beckett."

* * *

Castle's more than a little surprised that Beckett answers. Her voice is low, a little husky, and it is totally doing it for him. He clears his throat. "Beckett, hey, it's me." _Casual. Nice._

"Castle, do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah, and I'm really sorry. But, um, can we meet for coffee later? I know we have that case, but I thought—"

"Castle."

God, he can practically feel the irritation and it's super hot. "Yeah?"

"I need to sleep."

"Right. Okay. Sorry. Good night, Kate."

It doesn't register until Beckett is almost asleep. _Kate._

He called her Kate.

* * *

Beckett manages to drag herself into the precinct by 8:30, later than she typically arrives but still earlier than most. She's yawning so widely when she steps off the elevator that she almost runs over Castle when he appears in front of her.

"Good morning, Detective," he greets her cheerfully, holding out her coffee.

Kate barely manages a smile. "How are you so…awake?"

Castle shrugs. "It's been a good morning. And I've had copious amounts of coffee."

Kate tries to glare, but his enthusiasm is contagious so she just rolls her eyes with a smile and turns towards her desk. "Hey guys, what do we have?" she calls out to Ryan and Esposito.

It's not for a few hours, after they've closed the case and they're heading back to the precinct, that Castle and Beckett are able to talk again. Castle had tried a few times throughout the day, but she'd cut him off with a "Later, Castle" every time. But finally they're alone; well, as alone as they could be in the middle of a busy lobby.

"What did you want to talk about?" Beckett asks after he finishes rambling about the case. She stops when she doesn't feel him beside her anymore; turning around, she sees that he's stopped completely in his tracks, staring at her. She throws her hands out. "What?"

Castle gives his head a little shake, as if to bring himself back to the here and now. "Sorry, I just…can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Would you—" Castle's interrupted by the shrill ring of his cell phone, and he mutters a curse under his breath when he sees who's calling. "Gina. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I got some bad news, Rick. Black Pawn has decided not to pick up the option on more Nikki Heat. Sales have been okay, but they want to hold off on any sequels for now." Gina pauses but hears only silence. "Rick? Are you there?"

Castle feels his heart drop. Despite his words to Beckett the previous night, he'd turned down Bond, hadn't dreamed that they wouldn't want more Nikki…out of the corner of his eye he sees Beckett answer her phone.

"Beckett…yes sir…uh huh…okay…no, I understand. Thanks." She hangs up her phone and looks at Castle with a mixture of pity and something else he can't quite guess.

"Are…are you sure?" he asks Gina. Maybe he misheard.

Gina sighs on the other end. "I'm sure. I'm sorry, Rick. I'm trying to convince them to change their minds, but I needed to let you know. I don't think they're going to. Talk to you later, okay?"

Beckett's giving him a small, encouraging smile when he hangs up. "I'm sorry," she says, holding up her phone at his questioning look. "Montgomery called. So…I guess this means no more shadowing me?"

It's meant to be a statement, but Castle hears the question and tries to return her smile. "Sounds like it. Gina said she's still arguing, trying to make our case, but she didn't sound hopeful."

"Would you consider changing publishers? Or self-publish?" _What the hell are you doing?_ She's wanted him gone since he started following her. Why is she all of a sudden trying to find a way for him to stay?

"Maybe," Castle says with a shrug. "I'm not sure. I could step away for awhile, give Nikki a break." His feet move forward, though, almost of their own volition

Beckett takes a step closer, too, looks down at her traitorous feet. "Just Nikki?" she asks quietly with a look up through her lashes. "Is it only Nikki you'd take a break from?"

Castle almost groans when Beckett draws her bottom lip between her teeth. He's relatively sure she does it on purpose, just to mess with him. And boy, is it messing with him right now. He can barely form words. "Well, that depends on whether you'd let me buy you a cup of coffee."

"You buy me coffee almost every day, Castle," Beckett points out. But by this time, they're standing toe-to-toe, and she has to look up slightly to meet his eyes. Not for the first time, she sees how blue they are, and she feels her breath quicken. "How would this be any different?"

Castle's breath catches, but he recovers in moments. "I'm not talking about that coffee, Kate," he says quietly. He wants to desperately to touch her, to run his hands through her hair or grab her waist, that he almost doesn't feel her light touch on his arm.

Beckett smiles and leans closer. "So what are you saying, Rick?" she almost whispers.

"A date, Kate. I'm asking you out on a date." He's glued to the spot, completely helpless when Beckett brushes her mouth over his cheek, barely making any contact.

Beckett can't help but feel a little proud of herself. Her insides are fluttering like a high schooler who just got asked out by her crush; how she manages to keep her voice steady is beyond her. "Tomorrow. Pick me up at noon."

Castle can only watch as she turns and walks away, swinging her hips like she did after their first case together. She'd said then that he had no idea.

He has a feeling she's right.

 **-FIN-**


End file.
